The working life of Museum of London

For the last weeks (months? years?) we have been hunting for accessories for our Pleasure Garden figures and have assisted them with posing for photographs. Yesterday, and I cannot tell you how happy I am to write this, we have moved the last mannequin to her new home.

This has reminded me of a few rules which they don’t teach you at (dress) curator school:

Rule No. 1: Wear presentable socks as you might have to take off your shoes at short notice to step into a display case. If you happen to know in advance that several of you will have to take off their shoes simultaneously and that there is a chance you might be photographed (see below), you might even consider coordinating your hosiery.

Matching socks could be a nice conversation topic while you are steadying a mannequin because you have to wait for someone to fetch the tool that tightens the grub screw, which holds the mannequin’s pole. It goes without saying that you also need footwear that won’t take ages to take off and even longer to put on again.

Rule No. 2: Carry make-up with you at all times as your nice colleagues from the Press Department might suddenly feel inspired and demand you to be photographed while you are steadying a mannequin. You might want to stock up on miniature make-up samples, carrying around a full-size make-up bag is just not feasible (and will be frowned upon by the technicians).

Rule No. 3: You must ensure that at least two pockets are incorporated into your installation work wear as you will need to be able to use both hands. The pockets have to be big enough to hold all of the items below:

• emergency socks and make-up
• gloves, so you don’t get chocolate onto 200-year-old clothes
• mobile phone in case a supplier arrives unexpectedly and no one can find you because you are hidden under a mannequin’s skirt trying to find the aforementioned grub screw (although it is unlikely that you will have reception or be able to answer the phone at that point)
• tool used to tighten the screw so you don’t have to wait for ages on full display on a bad sock day
• little box with pins of various sizes (you could pin those to yourself but you might regret it)
• assortment of pretty silk ribbons
• money for coffee/chocolate or to give to the intern who has to go out and buy more pretty ribbons
• scraps of paper that you will mysteriously accumulate during the day
• keys for display cases (or you will put them somewhere safe, forget where that was and get into big trouble with Security and a whole lot of other colleagues)
• little bits of melinex and plastazote (this should be a life rule!).

On dress-up days (you might expect to impress a fashion journalist with your knowledge of ball end hex keys), finding space for all of the above might be difficult. Presentable women’s clothing rarely seems to have an adequate number of pockets.

Rule No. 4: In the run-up to an installation period, regular attendance at a gym is advisable. You will particularly want to strengthen your thigh and stomach muscles and make sure that your knees are in good order. Your upper arm strength will also be tested, but unfortunately lifting mannequins seems to do nothing much to bat wings (not that I really know what those are …). Gym visits once in a while might also help with the effects of extreme chocolate consumption, which you might become prone to.

That’s it. Print it out and keep it in a safe place for the next time you have to install 60 or so mannequins and more than 150 accessories and things will run smoothly (well, they never do, but it helps to be prepared).